A Twisted Rejection Read online

  “Good morning,” I say quietly, feeling guilt for disturbing the one man of the group that clearly dislikes me. “Sorry, I just need to… uh… use the restroom.”

  “Right,” He says gruffly, not looking at me.

  “So, you are an early riser?” I ask, slowly walking closer to him. I hope that my closeness will encourage him to look at me, to acknowledge my presence. Anything really.

  “I haven’t slept.”

  “You were awake all night? Why?” I ask, voicing my surprise.

  “Someone had to keep watch in case lover boy decided to come after us.” He growls and my cheeks heat in embarrassment. What do they think of me? Weak. Gullible.

  “Right…” I growl as I walk in the opposite direction to hide behind the trees to relieve myself. When I am done I walk back to the cave, fully prepared to shoot a snappy comeback at Dax when I notice he isn’t there anymore. Irritation still flowing through me, I walk into the cave letting the words leave my lips as I walk in, taking no time to look around.

  “Lover boy is my problem, no one asked you to play the hero.” I snap only to notice he isn’t in here either.

  Rowan sits up, concern on his face. “Alana, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” I sigh, looking to see that Liam and Aiden have woken up as well. “Did you guys see Dax?”

  “He growled as he shifted then he took off again. Did he say something to you?” Aiden demands, looking angry.

  “Not anything important.” I see my pack in the corner and walk over to it, digging through to find my pants and shirt that are in desperate need of a wash. “I want to talk to you guys about yesterday. I feel like I have a lot of explaining to do. But first, I want to thank you. Seriously, Jason would have killed me if it wasn’t for you guys.”

  “Jason,” Rowan says with a growl, causing me to jump in shock. I have never seen him angry or even perturbed. “He is lucky that he still lives.”

  “I shouldn’t have gone back. I didn’t mean to, I just needed to get away. I’m sorry.” I say, looking down as the guilt I feel overwhelms me.

  “Why Alana? I’m sorry I kissed you. I shouldn’t have pushed you. I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to. None of us will.” Rowan walks forward and places his hand on my arm, true regret on his face. I hate that I made him feel this way, but this fear still radiates through me.

  “It wasn’t you. Not really. Jason was my — well he was my fated. We were supposed to be mates, our seer declared it when we were children. I grew up with him, knowing that he would be mine. He rejected our coupling though, and I wasn’t supposed to go back. He warned me that he would kill me if I did.” Silent tears streak down my cheeks as I share my shame with these men. I keep my eyes on my feet, too afraid to look up and see their disgusted faces. It is truly shameful in the shifter community to be rejected by your mate. These people are shunned from their community and meant to live alone. I know that it was a mistake to leave them in the first place, that I should have stayed with them for companionship and safety. I can only hope that I haven’t ruined my chances. “I’m sorry.” I finish, the silence from them killing me.

  “You were rejected?” Aiden asks quietly.

  “Yes, I am alone. I was thrown out of my home. A woman moved to our clowder named Madessi, he chose her. I can’t ever go back. They will not fail to kill me next time.”

  Rowan’s face seems to break and he pushes his hand through his hair as he looks at me. “I don’t – I don’t understand. I have never heard of a man abandoning his fated. It just wouldn’t happen.” His voice comes out as a rasp and my heart drops in my stomach at his words. Sadness fills me and I suck in deeply to hold back a sob.

  “Well, it did happen. As you can probably understand it destroyed me. I will live the rest of my life alone. No family. No future. I truly regret leaving you all yesterday, but I am afraid. I am afraid to get close to someone that may potentially leave me. I was afraid to let you kiss me, Rowan when you have no idea what you were getting yourself into. I am damaged goods.” I trail off, feeling as if this conversation is destroying me. I have spent almost no time with these men, but they are all I have left. Which is sad because I don’t even have them. If they see me as I truly am, as damaged, I will be back on my own. I just know now which way to run, the opposite direction I did yesterday.

  “If you are damaged, then you have found the right place with us,” Aiden says with a sad laugh.

  I arch my brow at him, confused. “What do you mean?”

  “We have all been abandoned. Rejected by our mates. I mean except for Liam. We too lost our homes but found comfort with each other. We found a family in each other.” Aiden’s eyes are soft as he consoles me. I can’t believe the words I am hearing. I replay them in my head trying to make sense of them. Dax. Aiden. Rowan. They were rejected too. The knowledge breaks my heart more intensely as I think about what I did to Rowan yesterday. He trusted me with his feelings and I broke that trust. I ran.

  My gaze goes straight to Rowan and it’s clear that he has realized where my mind has gone. That I made the connection of my betrayal to him.

  “Alana, you didn’t know. Even if you did, I cannot fault you for not sharing my feelings.” The sadness in his eyes seems to tear my heart to shreds, almost as if I can’t breathe. He steps toward me, placing his hand on my face. He winces as he takes in my still healing wounds. “I am just so relieved that you are okay.”

  My face involuntarily moves into his hand, finding comfort in the touch. I look into his eyes and feel the air leave my lungs as I take in their depth. Rejected. My eyes linger to the side and catch sight of Aiden and Liam watching us, fear clear on their faces. Fear that I will run again. I close my eyes and feel tears that were welling in them drop. “I do. I do share your feelings.” I breathe in deeply, scared to let these words leave my lips. Scared to give these men the power to break me. “I’m just terrified of what these feelings could mean. What will happen to me if they aren’t reciprocated?”

  Rowan’s eyes hold so much knowing, so much understanding that I decide right then not to hold back. We are all scared. Scared of being broken again. I can’t let that fear hold me back from living. I feel my eyes close slowly as I lean forward and press my lips to Rowan’s. He isn’t as enthusiastic in his kissing as he was in the lake, he is hesitant and that breaks my heart. I did this to him. I took his second chance at hope and crushed it. I will spend forever making it up to him.

  “I’m sorry but I have to go.” I say as I pull my lips from Rowan’s. Shock crosses his features causing me to realize the foolishness of my words. I grab him and kiss him again, deeper this time. I try to put my feelings into the kiss, try to tell him that I’m staying. Try to say all the things I am far too scared to put into words right now. “That’s not what I meant. I’m going to find Dax. I need to make things right with him, especially if I’m staying.”

  The corners of his lips lift in a grin and he puts his fingers through my hair to grab the back of my head, pushing our foreheads together. His fingers in my hair remind me again of what Jason did to me last night. I know I must look a mess, but I am truly lucky to be alive. All because of these men.

  Chapter Nine

  Dax

  The sun is high in the sky and I feel sweat dripping off me. I've been walking for almost an hour and I know I'm just going in circles. I haven't seen many animals nearby which isn't surprising as the air is thick with the scent of bears. Prey know to keep away. I know I need to venture out farther, but I don't want to separate myself from my brothers. Or Alana, if I'm honest with myself. Coming up to a creek, I can tell it feeds into the lake we were swimming in yesterday. I can hear the others voices coming from our camp and it makes my shoulders slump. Exiling myself hurts. I have to decide if it would hurt worse if I accepted her and she crushed me or if I completely separate myself from the situation. I pull up my pant legs to my knees so that I can put my feet in the water. Sitting on a long, I relish the coolness of the
shade and splash water on my face. I am so in my own head I don't hear her approach.

  "Hi, Dax…" She murmurs timidly as she comes up behind me. "I didn't mean to intrude. I left to use the restroom and decided to explore a bit. Then I heard you over here."

  I shake my head but keep my eyes focused on the water rushing over the rocks. I see tiny fish swimming in the stream, careful to avoid my feet, as they make their way to the lake. "You shouldn't travel alone, it's dangerous."

  She makes a soft sound under her breath as she takes a seat next to me, placing her feet in the water as well.

  "I was alone yesterday. I'll be alone if you guys move on, I’ll have to learn to take care of myself."

  I turn my face to look at her and see a steely glint in her eyes. She looks forward as if seeing into the future, her mouth set in determination. She looks brave. She looks beautiful.

  "Why are you alone? Was this some kind of camping trip for you? Roughing it for a bit before you're mating ceremony?" I ask with accusation in my tone. She is probably trying to abandon her fated, he was probably sick with worry back at her home and when he saw her yesterday things got out of control in his attempt to get her to stay. I find myself automatically distrustful of her and assuming the worst. That her male is too fearful of abandonment to follow her, too fearful for her life to stay behind. I look around the area as if he will suddenly pop out.

  Her face turns scarlet and she bows her head to stare at her own feet in the water. All the bravery and determination leak from her form. I want to cup her chin and pull her face back up, push the loose strands of her hair out of her face. Lines linger on her face from where he attacked her. Attacked, because I know deep down that it was an attack. My heart clenches seeing her so downtrodden and I get a sick feeling in my stomach. Anxiety churns through me as I see a teardrop fall from her face to fall to her lap.

  She breathes deeply then looks at me, straight into my eyes in challenge. "I was thrown out. My fated took someone else." Shame continues to color her face but she stares at me with fire in her eyes. She is hurt but she hasn't given up. Surprise must show on my features at her admission. “When I ran yesterday, I wasn’t thinking. I ran straight back there and he was there, ready to kill me.”

  "I have never heard of a female being deserted by her fated. It is always the males that are rejected. Stripped from their families due to the female's choice."

  She blinks her eyes and another tear trails down her face. "Well, it happened to me. He chose her and now I am alone. No clowder will take a rejected female. I am destined to a life of solitude."

  "Well, he seems like a fucking idiot," I say under my breath, but it is clear she heard me by the quirk of her lips. We sit there in silence. Neither of us saying a word to the other, just soaking in the revelation that is Alana. A rejected female is unheard of. I hear her unspoken words, that no male will accept a rejected female. Just as no female will accept a rejected male. But maybe that can change. Maybe this rejected female could accept four rejected males.

  The hope in my thoughts makes me fearful because getting rejected by her, well it just may kill me.

  Chapter Ten

  Alana

  I look down at my hands and see them slightly shaking after my confession to Dax. I fear that this knowledge will cause him to throw me out, to ask me to leave. I can imagine that he would prefer not to be associated with a rejected female, even though he too has been rejected. When he murmurs that Jason must be a fucking idiot, I can't help the smile that spreads across my face. Butterflies flutter in my stomach and I look over at this man that has up until this point avoided me. Dax's hair is almost as black as his bear's fur, messy but in the sexiest way. He has tattoos on his arms, chest, and neck. His muscles are thick and defined. His pants are so low on his hips that it's difficult not to drool. He was already sexy when he was being an asshole. Now that he isn't looking at me like I crashed his party, he takes my breath away. His tattooed fingers brush back some of his black hair. He looks over and catches me staring at him quirking his brow.

  "What do they all mean?" I inquire, hiding my blush.

  "A lot of them mean nothing, I just liked the way they looked. I got this one" he points to his chest, "when my mother passed away." A bear paw print lays just above his heart. I reach my hand out and gently touch it with one finger, tracing each pad of the bear's paw. He shivers under my touch, grabbing my hand and pressing it to his chest. I flatten my palm against his chest under his grip and look into his eyes.

  "Sorry..." I say as I bite my bottom lip. His other hand reaches up to grab my chin, using his thumb to free my lip.

  "Don't be," He replies huskily. His hand still holding mine to his chest, his other still holding my chin. "Do you know why we are all out here, Alana?"

  "Yes."

  He looks at me in surprise, then determination. "Well, I still want you to hear it from me. Aiden, Rowan, and myself were all rejected by our fated mates. I cannot tell you the circumstances of their rejection past my own, for they are not my stories to share. But you need to know this about us. We are broken, we have no home to give you."

  "So am I... broken that is. I have no home. Hell, my first day on my own I got treed by a bunch of bears. I was rejected by the only person I have had in my life. He was the only friend I had. You guys are the first people to ever show me kindness other than him. Well, the other guys. Your kindness is still up in the air." I smile as I look at him through my eyelashes, hoping my teasing relaxes the situation. “Any love I had in my heart for him was destroyed when he attacked me yesterday. The things he said…” A sob racks my body. “I didn’t think he was capable of such cruelty. Those words will forever remain with me.”

  "You have the power to destroy us, mi Luna."

  His words feel like a lance to my chest. I think about Rowan's kindness, how his eyes crinkle when he smiles, and our kiss in the lake. Aiden and Liam's flirting and holding my hand. I don't want to be separated from any of these guys. It's been only a couple of days and I already feel attached to them.

  I curl my hand on his chest and lean closer. "I don't want to. So please don't destroy me."

  Leaning forward until our lips touch, I feel electricity through me. I lead our kiss, gently just moving my lips against his as he follows my lead. I tease my tongue against his lips and it awakens something inside of him. His hands go into my hair and he pulls me up onto his lap so I am straddling him. I pull myself closer to him dragging my fingers down his strong back. His hands rub down my lower back until he rests them on my ass and pulls me closer still to him. I grind my core into his lap feeling him harden underneath me. I moan into his mouth loving his hands on my body. He grabs the hem of my shirt and begins pulling it up. I release my hold on him lifting my arms up allowing him to remove my shirt. He has seen me naked already, they all have, but this moment feels different. He takes in my body with fire burning in his eyes and he licks his lips.

  "You are so beautiful." He groans leaning back in to take my mouth. His hands slide up my stomach causing chills to throughout my body and he grabs my breasts squeezing them in his calloused hands. I rotate my hips again digging deeper into his erection trying to relieve the ache in my core. I can feel my wetness soaking into my pants as he continues to rub my breast roughly in his hands. His fingers come to my nipples, he rubs and pinches the buds forcing another moan from my lips. Kissing his way along my neck, I shudder beneath his touch. He lifts me up and stands in the water, holding me like I weigh nothing. Turning around to lay me on my back, he continues to press kisses and nibbles down my neck to my chest. He grabs one of my breasts in his hand and licks my nipple before sucking the peak into his mouth. My spine arches off the forest floor and I dig my fingers into his hair. I can't help the embarrassing purrs that leave me as he sucks at my breast while pinching my other nipple. His lips trail down my stomach until he gets to my pants, hooking his fingers in the waistband. Once he removes those I will be completely bare to him. Exposed in a wa
y I've been only one other time.

  "You don't have to do this Alana. We can stop right now if you want." He says with a growl, looking up at me with hooded eyes. The words seem pained as they leave his lips, but I can tell that he is serious. He is giving me an out, giving me the power to stop this.

  "I want to do this, Dax. I want you. I want all of you." My voice is breathy as I peer down at him. Willing him with my eyes to keep going.

  "If we start this mi Luna, I won't be able to stop. I won't be able to let you go. None of us will."

  None of them? The other guys flash into my head and I worry my bottom lip between my teeth concerned with how they will react to this. I want Dax like I've never wanted anyone, not even Jason, but I don't want to hurt these other men. Would they really all be willing to, what, share me? Could their egos deal with seeing me in one of the other men's arms? In one of the other men's beds? My core clenches at the thought. I want them. I want them all.

  "I want this. Please Dax." I moan.

  At my words he wastes no time in pulling my pants down, exposing me to him. He growls at the sight leaning down and dragging his tongue along my core. My body jerks once he reaches my clit and he pauses.

  "You have the most perfect pussy and it tastes even better than it looks."

  His words make me wetter still and my pussy clenches wanting to be filled. As if reading my mind two of his fingers begin to slide in and out of me as he sucks on my clit. I can't hold back my moans of delight as he brings me closer and closer to release. His fingers curve slightly, finding that magic spot that makes my fingers dig into the dirt below me. He growls into my pussy sending vibrations through my core as his fingers relentlessly slide in and out of me curving at just the right time.